I could hear the words drift through the thin door of Shelly’s room. Based on the talk, it was her useless git of a boyfriend.

Git. I like that word. Stole it from one of those wizard kid book things.

“Mom and dad are setting up some kind of family vacation,” she was muttering. You could hear in her voice how much she didn’t like the idea. I didn’t know it bothered her that much.

Note to self: encourage more family vacations.

“I know, right?” she said, her voice rising on the last note. “Like I wanna be stuck in a car with them all that long.”

Stuck with us? So says the girl who refuses to use deodorant because she thinks it’s a corporate plot. Besides, it’s not like we’re driving to Mars or some shit. It’s Florida, to Mouse-Ville.

“Of course, he’ll be there. He’s my brother.”

And now I made the cut. Just what I wanted to be: a topic of their conversation.

“He’ll be annoying, that’s what he’ll be. I can’t talk to him about anything! No! Nothing in common at all!”

Except for you stealing my weed.

“I don’t think he’s even been kissed yet!”

Are you kidding me? My first kiss was two damned years before yours, and last week at the football game while you were out there waving your pom-poms I was nailing your best friend Autumn under the bleachers.

“Well, I didn’t know! I wanted to spend the day with you!”

Of course you did.

“I could sneak you in through the window,” she said, her tone lowering. “You know the way here.”

Yeah, he does. After all these times coming over, it’s not like he needs to leave a trail of bread crumbs, right? If he did, he’s stolen enough of your underwear to do it. That would be a sight to see, wouldn’t it? Ben the speckle-faced idiot following a trail of Victoria’s secret specials.

It’s all good. When you’re not looking I’ll super glue your window shut. Have fun with that.

Elements: first kiss, a planet, a type of plant, bread crumbs